Take ur girl to some artsy shit then fuck her out of the dress when yall get home
I really wanna fuck in a pool. Like the possibilities are endless. My god. But it’s like. Our pool. In our backyard you feel me. Boy. Bet I be eating pussy under water. That’s some wavy next level shit. Put on my goggles. And i’m gone. That’d be some shit if i’m eating her and she’s so into it and she feels me stop and is like ” baby ? ” and i’m on the other side of the pool floating dead. I forgot I needed air. Ain’t even come up smh
what did i just watch
At first I thought it was guys trying to make pattycake sound like a demonic summoning ritual. Fortunately I kept listening.
THIS IS LITERALLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE VIDEOS OF ALL TIME THO I HAVEN’T SEEN THIS IN YEARS OMG
can the united states just chill for one day
Nigga the USA hasn’t chilled since fuck boy Chris sailed his ass here by mistake
I have a story.
So my sister got run over by a car once. It was a pretty big deal. Well like a year later she got into a little fender bender and was really bent out of shape about it, so I went and got her a cake.
When I put in my order for the cake, the guy at the bakery asked, “Do you want it to say anything?”
And with a perfectly straight face, I said, “‘Sorry you got hit by a car again.’”
He narrowed his eyes a moment, then nodded and wrote it down, and took it to kitchen to get the writing done.
All the way from the back of the kitchen, I hear a woman shout, “‘Again’?!”
I always laugh at this.
my favorite college experience is when i had a 7am class and the kid next to me literally poured a monster energy drink into his coffee said “i’m going to die” and drank the whole thing
Alex Gaskarth has had different variations of the same stupid haircut since he was 15
Eckhart Tolle (via setbabiesonfire)
Okay so I sped up The Phoenix by Fall Out Boy and help it’s really good
thIS IS GONNA GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK
IM SO PUMPED UP RIGHT NOW IM GONNA KILL A GUY
I feel like this is what doing coke is like…
COOK ALL THE THINGS! *whips out knives and fire* VIKING CRY INTO THE DISTAAAAANNNNNCE