can the united states just chill for one day
Nigga the USA hasn’t chilled since fuck boy Chris sailed his ass here by mistake
I have a story.
So my sister got run over by a car once. It was a pretty big deal. Well like a year later she got into a little fender bender and was really bent out of shape about it, so I went and got her a cake.
When I put in my order for the cake, the guy at the bakery asked, “Do you want it to say anything?”
And with a perfectly straight face, I said, “‘Sorry you got hit by a car again.’”
He narrowed his eyes a moment, then nodded and wrote it down, and took it to kitchen to get the writing done.
All the way from the back of the kitchen, I hear a woman shout, “‘Again’?!”
I always laugh at this.
my favorite college experience is when i had a 7am class and the kid next to me literally poured a monster energy drink into his coffee said “i’m going to die” and drank the whole thing
Alex Gaskarth has had different variations of the same stupid haircut since he was 15
Eckhart Tolle (via setbabiesonfire)
Okay so I sped up The Phoenix by Fall Out Boy and help it’s really good
thIS IS GONNA GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK
IM SO PUMPED UP RIGHT NOW IM GONNA KILL A GUY
I feel like this is what doing coke is like…
COOK ALL THE THINGS! *whips out knives and fire* VIKING CRY INTO THE DISTAAAAANNNNNCE
The most under appreciated Rocket quote in Guardians of The Galaxy (via pokemasterjack)
Me and Grayson wanna go drink and party with Jack and Alex after the show tomorrow
BRING ME OMG