I sold my soul to rock n roll

ninakeke:

Take ur girl to some artsy shit then fuck her out of the dress when yall get home

MY DREAM

(Source: adampacmanjones)



sleezed:

I really wanna fuck in a pool. Like the possibilities are endless. My god. But it’s like. Our pool. In our backyard you feel me. Boy. Bet I be eating pussy under water. That’s some wavy next level shit. Put on my goggles. And i’m gone. That’d be some shit if i’m eating her and she’s so into it and she feels me stop and is like ” baby ? ” and i’m on the other side of the pool floating dead. I forgot I needed air. Ain’t even come up smh




acquaintedwithrask:

ramavoite:

toad-hollow:

puffpuffpeace:

smokeweeedgethigh:

greeneyed-l4dy:

popadoseyo:

what did i just watch

dead

Lmao

dying

OMFG

At first I thought it was guys trying to make pattycake sound like a demonic summoning ritual. Fortunately I kept listening.

THIS IS LITERALLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE VIDEOS OF ALL TIME THO I HAVEN’T SEEN THIS IN YEARS OMG

(Source: youtube.com)



haedia:

thewolfofnibu:

stahscre4m:

there are guys in my dorm who decided to play cards in the elevator

see what intrigues me about college isn’t the intellectual pursuit or the bonding or whatever, its the fact that people have the freedom to do random shit like this

Okay, everybody, I have a story about random shit in college. When I was in college, there was a particular class I took where, no matter what time you walked into class, if you made it into the room before the professor, you wouldn’t be counted late. I mean, that’s a pretty cool policy, given how some professors are really obnoxious about attendance. 
Well, one time, a fellow student of mine was running late to class. As she reached the edge of the building, she saw her professor making it to the front steps (super long rectangular building here). He looks up from walking and he sees her. He then points to his watch, gives her a well-meaning “Look who’s late” face, and walks on inside.
What he didn’t know, though, was that this particular student was like freakishly good at bouldering and related climbing skills, so she was just like “Fuck it” and SCALED THE BUILDING!
She tapped on the window of the 4th floor classroom (the floors had like 20ft ceilings, so, she was quite a ways up there), nearly making one student piss himself. They opened the window, she rolled through, onto the floor, and slid into her seat about five seconds before the professor opened the door to the classroom. 
He did a double take, started to say “How the hell d—” when a security guard ran in, red-faced and panting, pointed at her and bellowed “STOP DOING THAT!”

hennyjones:

heavenlypost:

can the united states just chill for one day

Nigga the USA hasn’t chilled since fuck boy Chris sailed his ass here by mistake

(Source: naho-tan)




pazuzugodking:

bettydays:

I have a story.

So my sister got run over by a car once. It was a pretty big deal. Well like a year later she got into a little fender bender and was really bent out of shape about it, so I went and got her a cake. 

image

When I put in my order for the cake, the guy at the bakery asked, “Do you want it to say anything?”

And with a perfectly straight face, I said, “‘Sorry you got hit by a car again.’”

He narrowed his eyes a moment, then nodded and wrote it down, and took it to kitchen to get the writing done.

All the way from the back of the kitchen, I hear a woman shout, “‘Again’?!”

I always laugh at this.

(Source: toocooltobehipster)



korrakun:

my favorite college experience is when i had a 7am class and the kid next to me literally poured a monster energy drink into his coffee said “i’m going to die” and drank the whole thing



squided:

diamoncls:

yourwaifu:

thala55o:

mac and cheese

what?

mac and cheese

That’s an egg


Also that’s not a mac.

notexactlyhim:

I love this the dog is like awkwardly wagging his tail like he’s happy but doesn’t really know what’s going on I love this so much

brendanwtf:

Alex Gaskarth has had different variations of the same stupid haircut since he was 15



boychic:

kaijuleng:

tattoosfade:

oppressionisntrad:

anarchist-memes:

We are forced to live in a system that steals from us daily, Kill snitch culture.

Important things to keep in mind!
- never take from ‘mom and pop’ type store. Its likely you’ll actually harm them, whereas taking from a walmart wont effect much.
- never take items that a worker is assigned to monitor (usually super expensive items), theyll be in trouble for it. and its usually a minimum wage worker and usually they lose hours or pay, or they even get fired.
- similar to the above, never take things that are usually locked up for the above reason
- if its a store you know gives their near-expiration products to workers/charity, try to avoid taking the near expiration products.
- if youre taking clothing, avoid leaving hangers. it sounds weird, but itll make it seem like it was more likely an error in the computer than a theft, since the empty hanger sitting there will seem suspicious. 
- also for clothing, try not to take more than one item at once, as it will look suspicious if theres 10 medium shirts missing, and it won’t be written off as just a stocking error. and it will lead to workers being penalized
- basically just always consider ‘will this harm a worker’ and if the answer is yes then dont do it
like i was homeless for a while when i was younger and i tried to follow those guidelines to avoid doing harm to people who were probably not much better off than me while trying to get food for myself.

Holy crap, is there like an unspoken thieves code or something?!

it’s a thing. I won’t even lie. I watched someone slip a nursing exam book in their bag at the store I worked at. She made eye contact with me and the blood drained from her face. I simply gave her a sympathetic nod and walked away.
I live in a small town and I knew she was a waitress at a hotel my sister works at, and people at that hotel don’t tip well during off season. Nursing exam books are 50+ bucks. Being a med student myself, I didn’t even breathe a word, and when inventory came up later and the book was missing, I suggested it was likely a mislabel, and the manager wrote it off.
Sometimes, thievery is a necessity. Don’t send people to jail over petty things.

theft for many is survival in this system and taking away from multi-billion dollar companies that are a part of the oppressive capitalist system



When you recognize that there is a voice in your head that pretends to be you and never stops speaking, you are awakening out of your unconscious identification with the stream of thinking. When you notice that voice, you realize that who you are is not the voice — the thinker — but the one who is aware of it.
Eckhart Tolle (via setbabiesonfire)

(Source: artoflivingslowly)



1,888,449 plays

fuckingrecipes:

siuilaruin:

machokeonmydick:

simplybluecandle:

hurtkid:

thisrisingtide:

Okay so I sped up The Phoenix by Fall Out Boy and help it’s really good

thIS IS GONNA GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK

holy shit

IM SO PUMPED UP RIGHT NOW IM GONNA KILL A GUY

I feel like this is what doing coke is like…

COOK ALL THE THINGS! *whips out knives and fire* VIKING CRY INTO THE DISTAAAAANNNNNCE



All time low at fau :3

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